And as our lives change, from whatever We will still be, friends forever.......really?

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever 

this song... i loved back in high school. 

as graduation creeped closer, this song was really encouraging to me. 

knowing that no matter where we go and how much our lives will change. 

we'd still be friends forever. 

i always thought i was so lucky to grow up with a bunch of girls. 15+ years of friendship doesn't and shouldn't end right? 

sadly, entering college....everything just started to change. so quickly. too quickly. 

15+ years of friendship ended in a span of 3 months. how is that even possible? 

out of my groups of 4 girls, i've drifted away from 2. big time. 

Reflecting on it for about a year, we really just grew apart. our views are very different now.

it's a scary thing.

my best friend of 15 years and I were literally inseparable. we would talk on the phone until 5am on a school night. she was the first person to know anything. we both shared the same views and values. 

but as soon as college hit, i felt like we were struggling with different views and values. talking to her, i felt so distant, and because of that, i became very hesitant in sharing anything with her. 

That’s all I’ll say there. Nevertheless, it was a good, long fifteen years where I learned the joys and tribulations in a friendship. For the longest time, she was one of my bestest friends. And though i no longer (and i know this also goes for her too) have that title for her, I was glad to have met her and i know God put her in my life for a good reason, and i'll forever look back on our memories and thank God for her. Because of her, she made my childhood wonderful. She was the greatest gift God placed in my life. 

i truly hope the best for her. 

Going home for breaks now are only exciting for me because i get to see my family, marissa, si chu, and bw. 

--i guess i'll continue to do my thanksgivings--

Marissa liu: i love the times we've spent together. before college and during breaks when i come back from college.

i love how you're my neighbor. i love how i feel so comfortable around you. so comfortable that we can talk about seriously anything in life. i love how i can talk about embarrassing topics with you and not feel embarrassed or uncomfortable at all. i love our talks that lasts for forever which usually result in you just sleeping over. 

i miss high school. remember how we said we would run everyday after school? LOL we fail. i blame you :P

i miss riding our bikes around the neighborhood, or going swimming at the apartments, or going sledding at the park, or playing bball! (i owned you. HAHAHAHA shhhhhh) 

oh yeah....ahem. YOU STILL OWE ME A PAIR OF PANTS. fat santa. 

i hope you know how much i cherish this friendship. i'm super excited that our friendship lasted. in my times of despair last year, about losing close friends, you stuck by me, supported me and encouraged me. Thank you. 

I miss you like crazy here, even though i never reply your text messages. HAHAHA. 

you're a big part of my life. though in the past, there were times where we were SUPER close, and times where we just annoyed each other (mostly cause i got annoyed that you would come late to YG, and you got annoyed that i got annoyed) lol. but i'm glad we got past that and we're just super close now. yay! 

i lahva you. a lot. a lot. you mean so much to me. thank you for showing me that friendship do and can last. 

i'm SO excited to see where God's going to lead you in the future. SO excited. 

i'm excited because wherever God takes us, i know you're still going to play a big role in my life. 

Orphans in China?? yes please! 

I love my Liux2. 

Si Chu: 

we had an interesting friendship. that one really odd summer where we were just NOT FRIENDS. odd. i didn't like that summer. at all. 

we've been through a lot. a lot of downs. but also a lot of ups. 

i love our alone times. especially this past summer :D 

i'm always here for you! even though we're far away from each other, and usually only talk when i'm back home....with the few exceptions of skype....you're still one of my best friends. 

we have a lot of memories together, and looking through old fb pictures, it really puts a smile on my face.

gosh, remember three-waying with alan lin EVERY NIGHT?? haha. even though we don't do that now, when we do..it's rather nice. 

remember when you slept over, and in the morning. when your phone went off. and i got scared and hit you??

HAHA. oh my..that was kinda weird. 

thanks for all the wonderful memories! thanks for being my driver when i'm home :P 

can you me and marissa have a girls day when i'm back home?? i miss you girls a lot a lot!

Girlies! i'm really thankful for you two! i can't wait to create more memories with you guys! <3 

though it use to be 5 of us when we were younger, i think i'm happier with just us 3. LOL. 

we're really going to be friends forever. i can't thank God enough for you two. you guys are one of the biggest reasons why i look forward to coming back to Cbus. 

 

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

The Lost Gets Found.

How come we can pray and pray for other people we care about, but yet fail to pray for our own family member? 
or how come we have that want to help others and bring others to Christ, yet we fail to see that there is someone in the family that needs guidance and direction to see that without God, their life is meaningless?


i used "we", but really, i just meant me. 


i do so much research on people around the world that are in need of the gospel, of hope, of faith, of God.
but before all that can happen, i need to realize now, that someone more important to me needs all of that. 



"Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found" 


Luke 15:11-32. The Parable of the Lost Son.


some people just need to go through the hard road in life and have everything go wrong in order for their eyes to be opened, and to see that a life without God is not a life at all. A life with nothing to look forward to and nothing to work towards is not worth living at all. Just like this Parable. The Lost Son eventually saw that being in his Father's house is much more valuable than anything the world can ever offer. i believe some people just need to hit that dead end in life, to completely turn back and re-dedicate their lives. 
yes, we worry. some more than others. but we can't do anything to change the situation. Only through prayer can God change any heart. So really, there's no need to worry about it all the time. Though it could be different for parents. But pray and have peace in your hearts, that God is in TOTAL control. 
by worrying constantly, we show that we do not absolute faith in God. i know this is very hard to do sometimes, but would you rather have a troubled heart or a restful heart? 
We can't always be with him, to always watch over him, to always be there and help him choose from right and wrong, but we don't need to. For the Holy Spirit lives in him. deep in him. and that is more than what we can do. 


when he does turn back, we'll be a family who will celebrate and have a feast, for the lost son who was once dead is alive. he was lost, but now he is found. 


Hebrews 11:1  Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

有一個很特別的爸爸

people always say that they have the best father in the world.
even people with father's who are not even in their lives half the time. 
hmm, well. i'm very thankful to say that i am not one of those people. and that i really do have the best father in the world. 


Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
-Ephesians 6:4


Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

-Colossians 3:

Good job living up to [some of] the verses dad! haha. 

from brushing my teeth, to tucking me in at night, to driving me to my friends house, to staying up waiting for me to come home late at night, to helping me move my things into college, to giving me advice for what to do later on in life. all these things i'm very thankful for. 

time is definitely passing us by quickly. we all are living our lives in separate places now. but no matter what, we will always remember everything you've done for us. and we'll always be thanking God for blessing us with, truly, the best father in the whole entire world. 

Happy Father's Day! ( not just on June 19, but everyday) 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

-Romans 8:28

Lord, You're With Me Forever ~ Thanksgiving Day 2: Mama!

主你永遠與我同在

危難臨到　我信靠你　深知你必領我度過
你信實　為我堅持到最後當暴風雨向我靠近　有你同在我不至畏懼
你是我的牧者　我所依靠
每個夜　每一天
我知你永遠在身邊
主你永遠與我同在　在你裡面沒有改變
你的堅定　從昨日到今日一直到永遠
靠你豐盛應許站立　我的未來在你手中
堅固磐石　全能真神　我敬拜你


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs_MauptHfo&playnext=1&list=PLB5803D481A414BB0


---hmm, my new favorite song! yay! Sang this at Grand Rapids Chinese Christian Church this past Sunday, and I wanted to cry -__________- such a touching song.  


Family




Mama!: my mama is basically my best friend. Everytime something happens, i have to call her immediately (or...if shes sleeping...i have to call her the next day when she gets home from work) and tell her what happened, or when something happens, i always need to call her and ask for advice. Even the littlest things - like asking her if what i wrote to my small group girl was appropriate or not- 
i miss our daily walks in the evening (...well, it's not daily since sometimes i'd be too lazy and not go)..but when i do go, we would walk for like an hour, just talking. i miss our saturdays....waking up to go to the mall, walk around, then go to BK for our dollar menu. haha. 
My mama's favorite hamburger is the Whopper, and everytime we buy that and go home to eat, my brother (either one) would always be hungry, and my mama would always give her whopper to them..and just eat paomian....but i guess that's what parents do hmm?


My mama use to be CRAZY MEAN when we were kids. haha. i always dreaded coming home from school, but i dreaded summers more. where she would always make us wake up crazy early (8am....not THAT early, but still, it's summer break, the point was the sleep in!) and do hours and hours (...or at least it felt like hours)....ALWAYS MATH HW -_______- blah. and then hours of piano and violin practice...which NEVER worked well with me. i can't sit still. so i would always play piano for like 10 min, then go to the bathroom and play my gameboy :D 
that's what my brothers and i always did. whenever we needed to go to the bathroom, we would sit there for like 30 min just playing games. haha. 


It's surprising how much my mama changed, and most people today probably wouldn't believe what a strict person she use to be. but nevertheless, she's the best mama in the whole world! 


blah, i miss talking to my mama, or waking up and running into her room and hoping in bed next to her...and just talk...until we're both ready to stop being lazy and start out day.


My mama is someone i look up to spiritually. Every night, growing up...my mama would always be sitting in her bed reading the Bible and memorizing it. Anytime i needed to ask her a question about a particular verse, she could tell me where it was located, what book, chapter, ect. Her head is filled with knowledge of the Bible, and study Bibles. She sets a good example for my brothers and I. 


I always thank God giving me a mama who's so understanding, and who knows how to listen. I'm figuring out that not many of my friends have such a close relationship with their mama's.
But i'm able to tell my mama anything. ANYTHING. God, Faith, School, BOYS, haha. i'm a lucky one :D 


I love my mama a lot a lot a lot :D


--mama! i think you'll like that song i posted. Hopefully it'll be an encouragement to you, cause it is for me :D 

Thanksgiving day 1: Daddy!

Hi Ne Ni

耶和華我的主啊 !

求你使我放下心中 放下心中所愛

耶和華我的主啊 ! 

求你使我打碎心中 心中偶像

直到我在敬拜中獻上自己為祭
無怨無悔 永不回頭
直到我在祭壇那裡得著命定 

無怨無悔 我在這裡

Hi-Ne-Ni , Hi-Ne-Ni
燒我 差我 我在這裡
Hi-Ne-Ni , Hi-Ne-Ni
燒我 差我 Hi-Ne-Ni

為這世界黑暗的角落 我在這裡
為那不曾被安慰的靈魂
我在這裡 Hi-Ne-Ni
我在這裡 Hi-Ne-Ni

-------------------------------------------------------STM'10------------------------------------------------------

i love the meaning of this song so much! listening to songs like this makes me wanna hurry up and grow up so i can start serving God full time. but meh, i like where i am right now in life. i like how Calvin is preparing me and filling my head up with knowledge. i love my religion classes. i'm excited for my class i'm going to take in january: "What God is doing in China". 

Thanksgiving was 28 days ago.....

i'm 28 days late.

oh wells. it's never to late to be thankful. wheeeee. 

There's a lot i'm thankful for .God's really blessed me.

1. family

2. wonderful friends

3. Calvin College+ 

if i remember to update my blog: each day will be someone different that i'm thankful for God placing in my life.

Family

Daddy!: all my friends know that i have THE most protective father in the whole fat world. when i'm out with friends....my dad would call literally like..every 15 min. Asking what i was doing, if i was having fun, and when i was coming home. And when i was a bit older....he would stop calling every 15 min and would call every hour.....which always surprised my friends that he wasn't calling. Everyday when i would come back from school....i would get a phone call the minute i got into the house. He would asked literally 10 times whether or not the doors locked. he would tell me 5 times to check it. then he would tell me to check if the garage door is closed 2 times. and tell me to make sure the door from the garage leading into the house was locked. =_____= 

-you could see how my mama, my brothers, and i would get annoyed- 

and everytime after YG..when i would go out to eat or what not.....if it goes pass 1030pm, my dad would call telling me to come home RIGHT NOW...and sometimes sounding very angry i was out...that "late"...even if norms was with me. 18 years...it's really bothersome. 

My mama always says " you'll never understand what it's like to be a mother/father until you become one yourself"...... holy poop i hated it when she would say that. Though i'm in college...i still don't quite understand, but meeting new people, talking with them....is making me realize how lucky i was to have such a protective father. My umma ( mother in korean) in college: Justin Kim told me his testimony. And when he was telling me about his relationship with his father...i really really really wanted to start crying. He has absolutely no relationship with his father. and many times he wished his father was around when he was growing up, he wished his father played more of a role in his life, he wished his father would show him how much he cared and loved him (even though he knew all these things). WAH. that was like a flashback for me. Sometimes, my dad's love can be a bit suffocating, but it's appreciated. Pjosh told me he sees my parents like his own parents. My parents sure do treat him like their son. Joking around, always inviting him over for dinner. We've celebrated Pjosh's birthday together every year since he came. and he always says he feels most welcomed at my house. and that all the parents/deacons at church will say hi to him...but they just say hi for the sake of saying hi....except when my parents say hi...he can feel the warmth from them. haha you know my dad really really cares for you when it becomes unbearable! 

My dad is a really special person. He gives everything he has generously. without thinking twice. We're not a rich family, i know my dad is always stressed about money. Throughout middle/high school, i would watch my dad come back from work...and he always looked so defeated. But my parents are supporting many missionaries and pastors in China, many students in China (my dad has a strong burden for China), they're sponsoring a kid in Africa (if i remembered correctly), and they gotta pay for 3 kids in college =______= 

This thanksgiving break, on our way home from calvin, i was telling my dad about a friend of mine....she's a missionary kid. she can speak both chinese and korean (she's korean). Her parents are missionaries in China. Her dad helps north korean's in china.. and i told my dad how she came to calvin with nothing.....well no laptop or any of those luxuries cause her family simply can't afford it. What was the first thing my dad said? "we should buy her a laptop!...every girl in college should have their own laptop". 

Black Friday, my dad got up early to wait in line...in order to buy my friend a laptop. The laptop he bought for my friend was the one he wanted to get himself..since his laptop broke a while ago. seriously....who else would do that? but it was very exciting to give the laptop to my friend :D now she has her own laptop and her own ipod :D

everytime my brothers and i want something (electronics)....my dad would always do research on which one was the best kind...and then buy it for us....lol, which would make my mama mad sometimes. 

i told my dad i wanted a new ipod (my blue ipod) cause my old nano was being weird....and within two days, we bought it at sam's club. then this summer, i wanted my own camera. i actually saw this blue camera...which apparently was super crappy....at meijers and wanted to buy it. i told my dad about it, but he did research and said it wasn't a good brand. so he did some more research and got me my pink sony camera :D 

ever since i was little. my dad would go outta his way to buy us food whenever we were hungry....and nelson being difficult would want something else...so my dad would make 2 different trips. my brothers and i would always tell my dad last minute that we needed something for school...and make him go out to buy it. everytime i needed a book for english class, my dad would buy THE best and most expensive kind. they would always have fancy covers, and large print so i can read it better....even though after reading it...i would never touch it again. One time, my dad went to 3 different barnes and nobles to find the book i needed..they were all sold out cause i told him last minute. Not once would my dad be angry. He was always so willing to do it. 

---that's only a glimpse of my what dad's like--- i think i have the right to boast about my dad. 

The day he left me at calvin. it was a Wednesday....after saying bye...i had to run up to my room. i immediately started crying. and it didn't help cause my dad wrote me an encouragement letter. i was surprised that i didn't cry a lot when i was leaving my friends.....

i'm the luckiest daughter alive to have a father like mine :D 

⁶ Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.⁷ Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. ⁹ As it is written:

   “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;
   their righteousness endures forever.”
-2 Corinthians 9:6-9

Send Me Lord

差遣我

主 告訴我 如何獻上我的生命

帶希望入人群中

主 告訴我 如何付出我的關懷 

將溫暖帶入世界

我看到靈魂中的憂傷

孤獨中人的心在角落懺抖

差遣我，差遣我，

我願付出我所有，

差遣我到需要你的人群中，

充滿我，充滿我，

用你愛來充滿我，

再一次緊握他們的手

-------STM '09

Past week i've been doing a lot of research on North Korea. i don't know why, but everything about NK sparks my interest. Instead of writing my 6 page paper and sleeping early, i procrastinated and read different articles about NK...and slept at 4am. instead of studying for my exam friday, i ended up doing more research for about 2 hours before returning back to studying. Back in high school, whenever i was bored at home, i would look up NK, i remember going to the computer lab for english class, and instead of writing my essay, i was busy reading about NK. 

Wednesday night, i read an article about missionary Robert Park, who crossed the border from China into NK. Soon after setting foot in NK, he got arrested and was tortured severely to the point where he wanted to committed suicide. I read different articles about him and watched interviews.

Where is God in North Korea? 

Thursday evening, LiNK (Liberty in North Korea) came to Calvin and shared about what they do to help north korean refugees in China. They showed us a movie they put together about people from LiNK, going to China to help north koreans escape to safety, either to the US or South Korea. obviously it takes a long time to plan these trips....and if they got caught: the north koreans living in china would be sent back to north korea....and the people from LiNK would be sent to prison. But it's a risk they're all willing to take. i heard stories by north koreans who described what life was like in north korea.

Gah! so scary. but i like organizations like that! i also talked to my friend...who's Korean, but since her dad is a missionary....she moved to China when she was in 5th grade, so she speaks fluent chinese:D Her dad is a missionary among north korean refugees hiding in China. Wah! that's so awesome! i talked to her about it and it's just so interesting hearing her experiences. We both joined LiNK at Calvin which meets every tuesday. 

After LiNK, i just couldn't get my mind off of North Korea. North Korea is in desperate need of missionaries...well, obviously no one can set foot there..but still. There are so many people in NK who needs God's love...even if they can't escape NK, knowing there's a God who loves them and who promises eternal life in Heaven, that'll be enough. 

Send Me. 

Acts 1:8 

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”