Send Me Lord

差遣我

主 告訴我 如何獻上我的生命

帶希望入人群中

主 告訴我 如何付出我的關懷 

將溫暖帶入世界

我看到靈魂中的憂傷

孤獨中人的心在角落懺抖

差遣我，差遣我，

我願付出我所有，

差遣我到需要你的人群中，

充滿我，充滿我，

用你愛來充滿我，

再一次緊握他們的手

-------STM '09

Past week i've been doing a lot of research on North Korea. i don't know why, but everything about NK sparks my interest. Instead of writing my 6 page paper and sleeping early, i procrastinated and read different articles about NK...and slept at 4am. instead of studying for my exam friday, i ended up doing more research for about 2 hours before returning back to studying. Back in high school, whenever i was bored at home, i would look up NK, i remember going to the computer lab for english class, and instead of writing my essay, i was busy reading about NK. 

Wednesday night, i read an article about missionary Robert Park, who crossed the border from China into NK. Soon after setting foot in NK, he got arrested and was tortured severely to the point where he wanted to committed suicide. I read different articles about him and watched interviews.

Where is God in North Korea? 

Thursday evening, LiNK (Liberty in North Korea) came to Calvin and shared about what they do to help north korean refugees in China. They showed us a movie they put together about people from LiNK, going to China to help north koreans escape to safety, either to the US or South Korea. obviously it takes a long time to plan these trips....and if they got caught: the north koreans living in china would be sent back to north korea....and the people from LiNK would be sent to prison. But it's a risk they're all willing to take. i heard stories by north koreans who described what life was like in north korea.

Gah! so scary. but i like organizations like that! i also talked to my friend...who's Korean, but since her dad is a missionary....she moved to China when she was in 5th grade, so she speaks fluent chinese:D Her dad is a missionary among north korean refugees hiding in China. Wah! that's so awesome! i talked to her about it and it's just so interesting hearing her experiences. We both joined LiNK at Calvin which meets every tuesday. 

After LiNK, i just couldn't get my mind off of North Korea. North Korea is in desperate need of missionaries...well, obviously no one can set foot there..but still. There are so many people in NK who needs God's love...even if they can't escape NK, knowing there's a God who loves them and who promises eternal life in Heaven, that'll be enough. 

Send Me. 

Acts 1:8 

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Surrender. Dedication.

一生愛你，一生敬拜你
一生愛你，一生榮耀你，

一生奉獻，一生不回頭

一生愛你，跟隨你

I love this song. Ever since i got to Calvin, or rather...Grand Rapids Chinese Christian Church, i started listening to more Stream of Praise music. A lot of them were very familiar. We sang this song for STM'09. 

一生奉獻，一生不回頭

一生愛你，跟隨你

一生不回頭 

I have no clue what i want to do in life. All i'm sure of is that i want to devote my life to following God. Never looking back. I know that through my years here at Calvin, God will continue to lead me onto the right path. I can't imagine doing anything else in life other than ministry. 

Teaching elementary, 5th graders to be more specific, was my dream job ever since i was little. I loved playing school. But now, thinking about being a teacher in a public school or even a christian school seems uninteresting. I don't have that passion to teach anymore. I still love kids though. 

I have so many different ideas of what i want to do. YOUTH MINISTRY. PASTOR?. MISSIONARY? WORLD ORGANIZATIONS.  gah. so many interesting choices. i don't have a specific calling yet and i hate that =_______= 

I'm excited to see where God will lead me though. If God is really leading me to the mission field, i need to start preparing myself. It's so hard to leave behind such a comfortable home in america. But it'll be worth it. 

the future is constantly on my mind. maybe i should stop worrying......

愛你是我的喜樂

even if i'm just a housewife. My life will still be devoted to God.

Life. Future. Childhood

When you're a little kid. 

The future seems so far. almost like it'll never come. 

no worries. no stress.

childhood memories consisted of crayons, legos, nap time, bath time, coloring books, recess= FUN

easy as ABC.

now, it's a different story.

I've always dreamt about growing up, what it was like, and what it would be like to finally enter the realm of the "real" world.

but now that i'm here, all grown up and doing college "stuff", i miss my childhood. when life was once simple~

i miss: 

-playing baseball in the backyard with my brothers and dad

-the time my brothers helped me pick out my very own baseball glove :D it was tiny! i loved it. 

-taking a stroll after dinner with my family

-all the family devotions, praying before sleeping

-making forts with my brothers

-playing, or rather watching my brothers play with beanie babies and thinking how cool they were

-getting into trouble with my brothers

-playing with water guns

-all the family road trips, listening to old stream of praise music

-going to church together in one car. dad driving, mom in the passenger seat, me and norms in the middle seat, and nelson, the lucky butt who got the back seat to himself

-having matching roller blades with my brothers

-running through sprinklers in the summer with my family

-when we would do a family bbq out on our deck

-trying to build the biggest snowman with my brothers

-our tradition of watching THE SIMPSONS at 5 and FRIENDS at 6. 

-flashlight tag with my brothers while we were suppose to be sleeping

-believe it or not, all the math hw that we were forced to do in the summer, and all the piano/violin lessons

-OLYMPIANS

-morning choir class at CCCC
-building cool buildings out of legos with norms

-biking with my brothers

-going everywhere with my family because we couldn't stay home alone yet

-falling asleep on the car on the way home from OLYMPIANS, and having my dad carry me to my room

-having sleepovers in the living room with my brothers

-peeking through my fingers while praying and trying not to laugh as my brothers make silly faces...then of course, getting in trouble after the prayer cause my mama always found out...without opening her eyes =_________=

.......

there's so much i could write. but i think what i missed the most is family.

i miss doing everything with my brothers. friends i had. friends from church and friends from school. but friends...they didn't play a big role in my life until later. i miss the bonding. i miss the closeness. i miss the feeling of following my brothers around, finding something to do on a rainy day or on a lazy summer day. i miss following them around especially when we would get in trouble. Everything i did, it was with my brothers....even though they wouldn't let me play most of the time

When i was in 6th grade, Norms started going out with friends more often-since he was a freshmen in HS-  and getting busier and busier, and i remember that horrible feeling i'd get every time he left. i hated it. As my brothers moved onto HS, they became even more independent. My parents let them do more stuff with friends and i was always stuck at home. I hated being stuck at home alone. I hated being in trouble and having no one to go to. I was only in middle school, i wanted things to go back to the way they were. 

things were so much simpler back then. no drama between friends, no boy troubles-because boys back then had cooties-, no stress about school. no stress about the F.U.T.U.R.E. 

but alas. i must move on with my life. though i really wish i could just stop time from moving and go back to yesteryear. there's just so much more to experience. so much more people to encounter. 

family <3

I've been blessed with the best family ever. As we all move on with our lives, our past will only be memories~ 

p r e c i o u s m e m o r i e s . 

God holds my future. so...why worry?

Jeremiah 29:11 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. 

family <3